I am a 26-year-old woman, and I contracted HIV when 1 entered the university three years ago. I found out a bit late, but I am now on medication.
At first, I was devastated and depressed, but I am slowly accepting my situation and working toward being happy again. I can already see improvement in my health.
I did not contract the virus through prostitution, but I slept with quite a few men. I can’t even explain what I was looking for because my parents and older siblings provided for me.
Anytime I needed anything, they sent me money without hesitation. But my friends influenced me into a lifestyle I had never imagined for myself.
My pain isn’t just about the disease; it’s about the fact that none of the friends who introduced me to that lifestyle have HIV.
They taught me how to “play men” for money, and they continue to do even worse, yet I’m the only one who ended up with this.
Instead of supporting me, they are now using me as a scapegoat. They’re protecting themselves and going around telling our mates that I have HIV.
I can’t bring myself to tell my family because we were raised well, and I don’t understand why I allowed myself to be so easily influenced.
Maybe I wanted to fit in. Perhaps I wanted to feel accepted. But this life is not who I truly am. I go to bed and wake up with so much regret.
I know HIV is not a death sentence, but it hurts deeply that the people who introduced me to this lifestyle are still living freely while I have to deal with lifelong consequences after only a few months of bad decisions.
What hurts most is the betrayal. I trusted them to keep my diagnosis confidential. I even believed that I might not be alone, that maybe some of them were going through the same thing.
But when I opened up, I found out I was the only one, and now they treat me like I’m a virus.
They have spread my situation to so many people that I can’t even step foot on campus without feeling judged.
I am down, frustrated, and isolated. I’ve lost friends and respect because of this. I don’t know whether to withdraw from school or defer my course. I honestly don’t know what to do.
